Thursday, 10 April 2014

Spring Progresses...

Thank you all for kind comments the other day regarding my toxic sister-in-law.  Our history is long and muddled, bad - good - bad again and of late - nothing.  She probably describes me as her toxic sister-in-law, quite rightly, I take all her black and white ways and mix in all my grey.

I was troubled the other night, but have breathed it out.

Very carefully I am cleaning up our small garden areas, the last of the ice so recently departed.  I removed the dead from last year, to discourage mold, and raked gently my snow-flattened lawns.  We have very little grass, each year a little less as the garden areas expand.

The front porch was washed and rinsed of the dirt and dust that blown in.  The church pew wiped.

I hung out my first load of laundry for the season.  Husband had hung clothes out on Sunday, but this was my first opportunity to hang out the towels.

And I turned off the furnace.  We will be chilly, but enough is enough!

Husband was away last night but I was kept warm by 3 felines in the night.  New Louie, who is enormous, Luna and James, who is not as wee has he used to be.

Louie snores, and it was as though Husband was with me.

Monday, 7 April 2014

Monday Monday

It is truly behaving like a Monday.  Work is busy and really, really stressful...  Co-worker John has been away day after day, and the bulk of the debris of his absence piles up under-on my desk...

I have learnt to keep it all in perspective though.  A good thing.

A toxic personality from years and years ago is trying to infiltrate my life.  Sadly this person is my husband's sister, who cut us off years ago due to my pagan beliefs.  Out of fear and ignorance she cut me off, and her brother and our children.   I was told it was 'her way'. All her siblings sigh and shrug, 'Oh! that is Pat!'  Rules for Pat are different than for the rest of us.   Now she writes [on husband's facebook message-thing] that she is tired of the rift between us.

She [and her husband] want to meet us halfway for coffee.

I don't want to meet with her for coffee.  Neither one of us see a point to rehashing he said/she said in a donut shop, so we invited them for dinner.  I sent out that message to her [from my facebook, how sad is that] on her birthday.  It was the 31st of March.  I said have a great birthday, isn't it wonderful it is spring, blah, blah, lovely, lovely and we would like them to come for dinner some time in April or May.

Nothing.  Not a reply, not nothing. [And she did see it, it shows 'read'.] I think she is waiting for husband to message her back about the rift, or whatever.  Daughter says that she was placing the responsibility on John's lap by messaging him that way.  Eldest Son says I was wrong to invite her for dinner because she might feel uncomfortable at our home.

Well, I say life is too short for bullshit.  If she wants to mend the bloody rift, she can choke down stew and rice in our home.  If she wants coffee that badly there is a Tim Horton's around the corner.

Because of her behaviour my children have zero relationships with their cousins, and have been shown a terrible example of christian ethics.  Because she is the matriarch, they have always felt less-than.  It is too late for them to regain those years that should have been fun-filled.

I don't see a rift, I see something broken.  I can move forward and I can make an effort, but this time it will be on my turf, in my comfort zone.

Friday, 4 April 2014

A Sea of Melt

Strange to have run out of words, there are many swirling around inside, they seem to want to stay tucked up inside.  Other bloggers do this too, some never to return.  I see it as a kind of evolution.

I love the colour of this old blossom.

All is well in my little world.  I almost dare to say that I am content.

Last week on a walk, I had to stop for a very long train.  

My plans for spring?  To paint.  Starting with my bathroom, soon, I am going to crisp up my house from top to bottom.  Daughter should be moving out sometime in the summer season, and I hope to pass on some furniture her way to lighten my load.

From the rail trail.

Day by day plodding through the last of the cold season.  One day I sit outside with Crouton, painting my toenails in the sunlight, the next it is blustery.

In Gage Park, a sea of melt.

Enough said of the weather.  Soon my windows will be open, the rooms crisp with fresh paint.

The squirrels decided those Yule lights had to come down.

And finally, we have adopted my sister's cat, Louie.  He is an enormous white with black cat, who is around 8 or 9 years old.

Last week there was still a lot of snow on the shady side of the garden, now there is very little left...  and the frost-heaved stones are sinking.  

Tuesday, 18 March 2014

Walking with care, towards Spring

Winter slowly recedes.  Time passes slowly as we wait for spring to arrive, and it all changes inch by inch before our eyes.  Today the ice melts and Crouton is outside on her harness, sitting in afternoon sunlight.  Her fur is warm in the sun.  In a few hours, the melt will freeze over again, but each day a smaller patch.

In February I left my job, I seem to do that a lot.  My last week I injured my knee, of course, and in Vegas I was more than a little uncomfortable.  I hobbled, walking much slower than usual, but my body wanted rest.

So I did a lot of this in Vegas.  We found the pools and we swam.  We found the hot tubs and [ignoring my aversion] soaked and relaxed.  The water was a balm to my knee, and by the end of our stay it felt much better.


We had warm days, and cool nights.  We found a cheap local Mexican restaurant, and ate there more than a few times, corn tortilla breakfasts for $3.95.  I ate a lot of corn tortillas.

A tall coffee at Starbucks was $3.30 compared to our $1.94 here in Hamilton.

Would we be return to Vegas?  Probably not.  We walked a bit and relaxed a lot.  
I love these chairs.  

We returned to winter here in Ontario.  I started my new/old job and that is going well.  Things change, nothing stays the same, so I am adjusting to new protocols, new systems.  
My eyes are again screened from morning til late afternoon.

The knee continues to heal, today the first day I could walk with comfort, not over straining it.  

The geraniums I wintered inside have 3 flower buds.  April 1st and 2nd are sowing days for above ground plants, and I will be planting seeds for our summer garden.  I am planning it in my mind.  

The deep freeze this year has caused our concrete to heave and the flagstone to burst in places.  

But it is easing away, the ice is slowly melting and shrinking.

Monday, 10 February 2014

Quiet of Winter

It has been frigidly quiet over here at Mid Life Fibres.  Cold days endured.  No warm vehicle to take me from here to there, it has been a time of walking, walking, walking on the ice and crunchy ground.  Boots and leg warmers and long underwear...  Triple scarves and a headband I wear all the time, indoors and out, only removing it to shower or go to bed.

So a lot of time has gone into making soup.  And hot coffee.  And just getting through these weeks.

There is a light though.

On Thursday Husband and I will be travelling to the desert, Vegas, for a trade show.  Three nights, five days, and I think the temperatures will be around 20c.  [78f] I would be happy with 10c, but 20c could save me from this winter.  I might just make it.

We don't gamble or like the idea of Vegas, but it is free, and it is warm.

When we return, I will be starting back at my old job, part time.  The toxic man I worked with has left, and it became a desirable option.  I will be one of those people who hop in a vehicle in the morning to go to work, rather than the icy path in the dark hours I traverse.

Three work days a week will be lovely, leaving weekends and Tues and Thurs for life here in my city.  To garden, to walk, to read, to live.

February is bringing change.  Soon spring will come.


Thursday, 9 January 2014

Fresh and New

Lovely day, bright and crisp without being bone-frigid.

I don't know what it is about January that makes me feel as though life has all possibilities...  January makes me feel like de-cluttering and purging and drawing and walking.  I begin to dream of gardens and fresh produce, while still roasting root vegetables for soups and filling us all full of ginger-root and garlic...

Today I had an early shift and find myself at home, workday over, at 9am.  The day stretches outwards - mine to fill.

Daughter at work - [She finally found work, at a certain department store that has a certain coffee shop.]

Youngest at school.

Middle son soon to leave for college.

Husband at work.

Alone in the house, soon.


Just me and the birds.

Saturday, 4 January 2014

Red Flags

I remember the first time I heard that term was in the 1990's, when I was a La Leche League Leader.  We were taught, through leader support and snail-mail correspondence, to notice the [sometimes] life threatening symptoms of a dehydrated baby or mom with a potential breast infection...

I like to think I have good instincts, but sometimes we are encouraged not to pay them the attention we should.

Recently I applied for a new position at work and yesterday I had the interview, which in my opinion went well, but one of the interviewers present seeped negative body language and on my long walk home I decided to withdraw my application on Monday morning.

I had to remind myself why I left my toxic job last spring, realizing that I very nearly jumped back into that frying pan.

I think that this New Year will be one I traverse with caution, to keep out of that hot pan.